Sometimes it’s best to cut through the treacle, to just come out with things without any lengthy preamble. To get to the point. Reach the heart of the issue as quickly as possible. Go straight for the jugular. Get stuck in and avoid any unnecessary waffle. Eliminate the chit-chat, the small talk, the flab from a conversation and just say what’s on your mind. Cut to the chase. Tell it like it is.
So, having avoided any superfluous wibble before reaching the meat of things, the Mill is here to tell you that Arsenal and Liverpool are apparently in for Edinson Cavani. Huh. Interesting. If we eliminate the implausibility factor, in theory that would be a belting move for either club, but the Mill will promise to bring you a full month’s rumours fully in the nude if such a move actually does happen (talk of the pair duking it out for Palermo’s 21-year-old striker Paulo Dybala seems more realistic), but for the moment Arsenal and Liverpool fans are just left with the theory to keep them warm on these cold, cold December nights.
On a similar tip, theoretically Juan Mata and Manchester United should be perfect for each other. Lovely player, lovely man, and in some ways he’s exactly what United need – a little subtlety to go with the rather blunt instruments of Robin van Persie, Wayne Rooney et al, but it just doesn’t really seem to be quite working as it should. Ergo, thusly, therefore, hence, rumours abound that he could be doing one from Old Trafford, with Sevilla said to be the latest club keen on buying the Spaniard in January, although United would prefer to wait until the balmy days of summer to send the wee man on his way. Either way, they’ll use the money to buy themselves a big fat slice of Kevin Strootman from Roma.
One of the few shafts of light this season for Tottenham fans has beenChristian Eriksen, but even that might be cruelly snatched away from them soon, as much like the flame-haired Jolene of Partonian legend, PSG might be about to take him just because they can. Still, in brighter news for the sufferers at the Lane, it says here that Spurs have joined Arsenal in the hunt for the PSG youngster Adrien Rabiot, while they are also set to best Liverpool in the chase for the Porto goalster Jackson MartÃnez, in the hope that he’d be better at football than Roberto Soldado or Emmanuel Adebayor. A limbo dancer-esque low-bar there, of course.
Should they lose out on MartÃnez, Liverpool may well dry their eyes (figuratively speaking) on one of the reddest and hottest of red-hot talents doing the rounds in Europe at the moment, specifically Martin Odegaard. The 15-year-old wunderkind currently setting the hearts of the continent’s talent-spotters a flutter is wanted by anybody who’s anybody, but apparently Liverpool have stolen a march on their competitors by giving young Martin a tour of Anfield. A tour! They also apparently showed him round the city centre, for which you can make your own jokes, but because of the boy’s quite revolting youth the question at one point was almost certainly asked: ‘Who’s Ringo Starr?’ Who indeed, Martin. Who indeed.
Staying in Liverpool, their players are seemingly taking it in turns to get down on their knees and beg Steven Gerrard please to stay. He’s mulling it over and will tell you his decision when he’s good and ready, it seems.
And once more on a Mersey theme, the Internazionale director Piero Ausilio was apparently in the house for Liverpool’s win over Leicester, and not just to sample the white-hot atmosphere of the King Power stadium: he also wanted to check out Glen Johnson, Fabio Borini andLucas Leiva, presumably with a view to buying them, but you never know. Speaking of the Italians, Inter are hawking their striker Giampaolo Pazzini around like a knock-off DVD copy of The Expendables III, with potential takers in the shape of Queens Park Rangers, Sunderland and Aston Villa.
Finally, startling news that may have you spraying your morning mimosa over your screen: Shaun Wright-Phillips is still a Premier League player. A QPR player, to be precise, but that won’t be the case for too much longer, as his contract will expire at the end of the season and word is that he will join his brother Bradley, whose absence from the recent MLS play-offs was amusingly cited as a key factor in the New York Red Bulls being knocked out, in the US.
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